It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
