I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
