i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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