Don't make out with my wife yet
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
