So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
