Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
