return my video game
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
