considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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