I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
