Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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