I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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