i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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