I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
