Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
