Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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