woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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