We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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