I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
