he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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