Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
