I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
