wrigley field is MILF paradise
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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