oh god the rape fog is back!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
