just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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