I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
