just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
