after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize