I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
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i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
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He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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