The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
