I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
