Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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