Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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