I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
