i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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