So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
