I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize