I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
