it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
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Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
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SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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