im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
