I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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