You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
