do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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