i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
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I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
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Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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