I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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