based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
