no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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