absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
