We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
