WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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