Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize