I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize