I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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